15 Dec This, Not Confidence to Overcome Nerves
You probably googled ‘overcome nerves’. There’s only a couple of days left before you have to give that big presentation/speech. It’s in front of a whole bunch of people and you are dreading it! ‘If only I had more confidence!’ I need something to help overcome nerves, you say to yourself…
What is This Confidence Trick To Overcome Nerves?
This is a common scenario for countless people in the professional world. Many people who view themselves or have accepted the idea that they are introverted or shy, find the idea of presenting or doing certain professional tasks overwhelming or just downright terrifying. The experience of being amongst senior personnel or board members sends many into a panic. That feeling of discomfort is horrible. When I used to experience it, all I wanted to do was run away! How do we overcome nerves?
I used to believe that this problem would disappear if I was more confident. And, whenever I found this big pot of confidence (wherever it was to be found), I would feel awesome in all situations, no matter who was around.
When I went looking for the pot of confidence after trying drugs, alcohol and many other vices which act as a great mirage for confidence, I stumbled upon the real solution. That is perhaps going to be a bitter pill for you to swallow, but it will be what you need to hear. Something which will actually help you overcome nerves.
Focus on Your Authentic Self
Confidence as a ‘being trait’ is fine. Though, too many people place too much weight on it as something to aim for. I think, too often we believe that having this magical confidence can replace the need to be courageous in our actions and behaviours. What I believe strongly in is authenticity. We label certain people confident and this is an illusion in my view. Confidence gets all the glory. What we are seeing is certain individuals being the person they have told themselves they can and should be. That’s a belief they permit themselves a bunch of behaviours to perform in the world for all to see.
If you’re aiming to advance and achieve goals that require you to step out of what is currently comfortable, you are going to have to part ways with the person you have been up to now. You will have to change your mind about who you think you are!
What is creating this feeling of panic, in many cases, is your focus on what you DON’T want to happen. All you can think of are, ‘what if’ scenarios that your brain offers. They are scaring the daylights out of you by offering you nightmare-like ideas.
Here’s A Couple of Things To Do That Will Help Overcome Nerves in No Time;
Instead, why not focus on the controllable parts of what you are doing? If you fear to stumble over your words, there is nothing wrong with pausing and repeating it at that moment, saying ‘pardon me, what I meant to say was ………’ That signals confidence in itself.
Your stress response can also be your best friend! Think about using the physical reactions in your body to help impress instead of it putting you down. You can reframe that feeling of physical discomfort to lead you to take positive actions (whatever that might be for your situation) instead of jumping down the rabbit holes of doom that your brain offers you.
Also, the appearance of confidence comes through experience and practice. Let’s say, you have a presentation to give to a room full of people, go practice it many times in front of anyone willing to listen to you. If you commit to doing more of these and keep putting yourself in the spotlight, you will improve. If you avoid and dread doing it, you will not improve. You’ll be stuck where you have always been.
When work-related meetings are a drag for you, instead of remaining quiet, why not commit to being the first to ask a question and get over the fear of speaking in a room full of people? It can be as easy as asking for clarification on a specific point. By asking you will feel better when you challenge your fear and you will see it was not as difficult as your brain tells you it is.
Where Did You Get These Ideas From?
The most likely thing which holds you back from claiming the life and attitude you want is because you have some outdated belief that you probably did not consciously choose to have but inherited from your past. I recommend that you dig into what you believe about yourself, your capacities. What things prevent you from seeing yourself as a confident person?
Ask the question about yourself and the ‘I Am …..’ statements that you assume to be true about yourself and why you believe those statements to be true. If ‘I am shy’ is one of those for you, why is that true for you? What makes it so? Perhaps when you were growing up, you took on the belief that standing out would bring unwanted attention towards you? Maybe at one point in your life, a belief that other opinions about you were important. Perhaps the time has come to revise that belief?
You are only ever going to be as big as you imagine yourself being. So, if you have a deep yearning to be bigger and achieve more, I recommend that you imagine yourself the attitude you want to have. Start trying that new personality trait on in your daily life whenever you can. Like a new pair of shoes takes a while to break in, keep wearing them. The new ‘confidence-enabled-you’ will fit you in no time.
I am a Freedom Coach and Mentor – I help freedom-loving people in early/mid-career create a Successful Mindset. If you would like to explore some of these themes and move towards achieving more freedom this year, let’s connect and set up a call.